The heart of the matter

Jeg må innrømme jeg føler meg litt fæl for at det er så stille her nå om dagen. Men det betyr fortsatt ikke at vi har gitt opp verken bloggen eller brevvennene våre. Heldigivs har L ennå mye i tankene, så jeg fikk et nytt innlegg i et brev her på tirsdag, som jeg tenkte å få delt nå.

The heart of the matter

Inmates, as a general rule, do not know hot to have a healthy relationship of any sort. This is especially true when it comes to an intimate one. Often when someone answers an inmate’s web-page, he/she (the inmate) will cling to that person like they were some sort of life support. This can lead to much heartache for both people.

You, out there, must realize that to us in here, the fact that you have responded to our call for … something makes you attractive, beautiful even. In my own opinion, anyone who reaches out to someone incarcerated is beautiful beyond comprehension. Each of you who do this have my respect and my love for always. My peers, though, may not understand how to react appropriately to the fact that you want to reach out in love and friendship.

What this means is that you will have to define the boundaries of the relationship. Do not allow the inmate to define the relationship, most often he/she will not know how. Be up front and do not allow misconceptions about the relationship to fester. I would rather be hurt a little at first than to have my heart broken at some later date. I for one have had my heat broken enough, and I’ve broken more hearts than I have ever wanted to.

Can you see that it almost seems as if you are raising a child when you write an inmate? :) It is almost true. It is a prominent aspect to inmate psychology, we are immature and insecure and don’t know how to function in a polite society. We must have others teach us how to treat them, how to be a friend and how to love. You can liken this to the scene in the movie “Jerry Maguire” when Renée Zellweger was talking to her sister she said something to the effect that she was raising Maguire to the man he could become. That is to true in the scenario of dealing with inmates. Most of us need to grow, and we cannot do it in our own. Most often this will lead to friendships, less often intimacy, and hopefully always something full of joy.

My wish for each of you out there is that you might know peace and happiness. My thanks